Has a question like this crossed your mind lately? My coach clients often have questions like this. How does this question make you feel? Do you have an answer? Probably not.
We often ask ourselves questions like this. E.g. when we are looking for a new job, or when we just started a new job, or when we start dating someone new. This question is often based on the fear we have of making “the wrong choice”. If we would know that we would still like this job/person in a couple of years’ time we would know that we have made the right choice now.
A sense of security or certainty
We ask ourselves this question because we are looking for a sense of security or certainty. But how are you supposed to know how you will feel about this job in 3 years’ time? Who knows where you will be in couple of years’ time, what your life will look like or even if the company or your job still exists? This is a question you really cannot answer, you can only make a guess.
I learned this lesson many years ago when I was on holiday in Greece and met this great guy. I remember one evening sitting on the beach together and me saying to him: “Maybe we should just end this, because I don’t know if I like you enough to start a long term relationship. So I guess I probably don’t like you enough and that is not fair to you.“ I so vividly remember how this great guy responded: “Do you like it now? Do you like being with me now?“ My answer was a wholehearted yes! Ok he said, lets just take it one day at a time. Every day we ask ourselves: do we still like being together? And if it is a yes, we’ll stay together for another day. What a wonderful wise guy he was! We took it one day at a time in the beginning and we have been together for 22 years now!!
Uncertainty, unrest & fear
So asking yourself a question you cannot answer creates a lot of uncertainty, unrest or fear instead of bringing you the certainty or a sense of security you are looking for. It is a form of worrying about the future that takes you away from fully enjoying what you like about this job (or person) in the here and now. This unrest and uncertainty are energy and joy killers!
What if you would ask yourself a different set of questions?
✳️What do I like about his job right now?
✳️What am I curious about or excited about?
✳️What in this job brings me energy & joy?
You will only know if this is enough to be doing this for a couple of years… by doing it!
And if there comes a point where you feel this job no longer suits you…
🌱 trust that you will be able to make changes in your current job. (Jobs are not static! You can make changes in what you do and how you do it.)
🌱and if these changes are not enough to bring you more energy and joy. Trust that you will be able to find a new job that will bring you energy and joy.
What really brings a sense of security
The certainty and sense of security will come from connecting to your joy, energy and curiosity in the here and now. And from trusting that you will be able to make changes once you feel this job no longer suits you.