Sometimes growth is just seeing it sooner

Sometimes it is so difficult to see your own growth, the steps you’ve already taken. Especially when you feel you should be taking big steps toward this goal. Or when you thought you made progress but now feel you are back to square one again.

In these times I go to this poem by Tara Mohr. It is always a powerful reminder that if you look closely you are never at square one. If you look with mild eyes at yourself you are able to see the small steps you have taken.

Sometimes Growth is Just Seeing It Sooner - Tara Mohr

Sometimes growth is just seeing it sooner.

You see sooner that you are silencing your voice.

You see sooner that you are acting out of fear.

You see sooner that you are projecting the past on to the present.

You see sooner that you are the one acting crazy, not them.

Because you did the work, you see it sooner.

Until our last breaths, we’ll keep missing the mark.

We will dim our light and betray ourselves.

We will cause harm to those we love.

But if we stay awake, we can learn to course correct sooner.

Stay awake and you might see it this year — and not let it extend for a decade

Stay awake and you might see it this week — and not let it extend for a year.

Stay awake and you might see it this hour — and not let it extend for a week.

Stay awake and you’ll receive those moments of grace, those crystal ones,

when in the instant — before the first choice, the first word, the first act

you will catch it

right the moment of its beginning

and choose differently.

 

The turnaround is the most important part of the flight path.

When you make it, you move the whole world forward.

You plant a seed of love in the ground,

and all those who come after you thank you.

 

Grow in small steps

Growth sometimes happens in big leaps. Much more often we grow through taking small steps. Growth starts with a desire for something new, different or better. Followed by trying things out, experimenting. Growth means failing often. Sometimes being happy with how it goes. Failing again and still keep on trying.

Because sometimes it works and often it doesn't. Over time, if you keep trying ... you will see it sooner, it will work more often and it will fail less.  And if you look closely, you will also see sooner what is successful, what growth there is in addition to what you see as failure.

I still cross my own boundaries from time to time. But I catch it much sooner and then make adjustments.

I still sometimes go into please-perform-perfect mode. But more and more I can stop that before it expresses itself in words or actions.

I wish you a gentle look at growth and taking steps. And remember:

 With one small step in a different direction, you will never end up at the same point again.

With one small step you can change your entire course.

5 minute check-in

 

 

 

 

 

 

Joy is not the absence of darkness

Joy is not the absence of darkness. Joy can be found even in dark and difficult times.

Joy for me is a soft smile creeping up, a softening of my eyes and feeling grateful for this moment. I find this joy in so many small ordinary moments- looking at beautiful trees in the forest, hearing beautiful music, seeing my kids playing/having fun, a hug from a loved one, laughter.

When I am able to stay in the here and now I experience so much more joy in my life. Joy is very much related to consciously searching for all the smaller and bigger things I am grateful for.

But joy is not only a soft smile. I also find joy in action. This joy feels like exhilaration, my heart beating faster, feeling fully alive!  I find this joy in moving my body (dancing!) or in doing things that scare me but feel so right at the same time.  I also find this joy in cycling home through the rain. The feeling of rain on my face, being a little out of breath because I cycled faster…this also brings this form of joy!

I invite you to get curious about what joy feels like for you

Joy is not a constant, but I know that staying in the moment and searching for things I am grateful for bring so much more joy into my life! Brene Brown beautifully compares joy to a string of twinkle lights.

“Joy is not a constant. Joy comes to us in moments-often ordinary moment.

Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we’re too busy chasing down extraordinary moments.

Other times we’re so afraid of the dark that we don’t dare to let ourselves enjoy the lights.

A joyful life is not a floodlight of joy. That would eventually become unbearable.

I believe a joyful life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together by trust, gratitude, inspiration and faith”.

(Brene Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection).

So one of the things that can get in the way of joy is fear of the dark. It is not the dark itself, but the fear of the dark. If you are experiencing a lot of fear right now, I have included two resources for you:

This week I also had to grapple with something else that can get in the way of joy. I felt guilty of my joy, because I know there is so much pain and fear around me in the world. Am I allowed to feel joy amidst all the suffering that is going on? I talked to a dear friend and colleague about this. What she said was this: People don’t need you to join them in the dark. Especially when it is dark, we need people that hold the light. Those wise words resonated deeply with me. Yes, I am allowed to feel light and joy. Because I know what helps me when I am in the dark: that is to see the light of other people, to see and be reminded of the joy there is as well. We can take turns in holding the light for each other!

 

Will you share what joy feels like for you? #SharingJoyBringsMoreJoy

You can do that below in the comments or just send me an email.

 

Mindfulness exercises to navigate changes, fear and uncertainty

If I had to name one practice that keeps me grounded, helps me to navigate changes, fear and uncertainty: it is practicing mindfulness. These exercises also help me to renew my energy.  For those of you craving silence and alone time: these exercises can help you to find silence and rest inside yourself.

Below you'll find 4 exercises:

You can listen to them here, or download them.

 

A short break from everything that is going on: 

3 minute mindfulness break

 

5 minute mindfulness break

 

SOS exercise: when you feel totally overwhelmed or stressed out

 

Stay in your own energy meditation 11 minutes

A guided meditation to consciously stay in your own energy in the midst of chaos and constant input from the outside.
I learned this meditation from Susannah Conway, and find it so healing and restoring for my calm and energy. So I recorded this meditation for you this morning.

Free online workshop: Keys to finding balance in academia

Lot's of academics think that feeling out of balance is just part of the job.That finding balance and being a driven, ambitious academic are just not compatible. This is a myth!! You don't have to give up your ambitions to find balance. Want to know more?  Sign up for this free online workshop.

What to expect from the workshop?

Duration: 1 hour.

I will debunk 3 myths that stand in the way of you finding balance:

You will learn why these are myths. I  will share 4 important keys to finding balance in academia. You will leave the workshop with a practical action you can take immediately to improve your work-life balance.​

Sign up now for this free online workshop! 

Work-Life Balance in Academia Programme

Work-Life Balance in Academia is a powerful combination of individual coaching, online & live training and peer group support. 

You are a driven academic who longs to make a difference with your work and at home. But at the same time you feel tired, overwhelmed or stressed and you struggle with feeling balanced. Maybe you think that a poor work-life balance is just part of what it means to work in academia. Maybe your struggle with balance makes you doubt whether you belong in academia. Maybe you feel that you have to make a choice between feeling balanced or living your ambitions. Work-life balance can feel daunting or even impossible when working in academia. Although finding balance in academia is no easy feat, it is certainly possible to feel balanced!

You can make an impact in your work and private life and stay balanced along the way! 
And this progamme will give you the support and tools to accomplish both.


The next round of Work-Life Balance in Academia starts March 22 2019.  You can join until March 21, 24.00 CET

Learn more about the programme here

Work-Life Balance in Academia Programme

Work-Life Balance in Academia is a powerful combination of individual coaching, online & live training and peer group support. 

You are a driven academic who longs to make a difference with your work and at home. But at the same time you feel tired, overwhelmed or stressed and you struggle with feeling balanced. Maybe you think that a poor work-life balance is just part of what it means to work in academia. Maybe your struggle with balance makes you doubt whether you belong in academia. Maybe you feel that you have to make a choice between feeling balanced or living your ambitions. Work-life balance can feel daunting or even impossible when working in academia. Although finding balance in academia is no easy feat, it is certainly possible to feel balanced!

You can make an impact in your work and private life and stay balanced along the way! 
And this progamme will give you the support and tools to accomplish both.


Work-Life Balance in Academia starts March 22 2019. I have a maximum of 10 spots available.  Learn more about the programme here

Work-Life Balance in Academia Programme

Work-Life Balance in Academia is a powerful combination of individual coaching, online & live training and peer group support. 

You are a driven academic who longs to make a difference with your work and at home. But at the same time you feel tired, overwhelmed or stressed and you struggle with feeling balanced. Maybe you think that a poor work-life balance is just part of what it means to work in academia. Maybe your struggle with balance makes you doubt whether you belong in academia. Maybe you feel that you have to make a choice between feeling balanced or living your ambitions. Work-life balance can feel daunting or even impossible when working in academia. Although finding balance in academia is no easy feat, it is certainly possible to feel balanced!

You can make an impact in your work and private life and stay balanced along the way! 
And this progamme will give you the support and tools to accomplish both.


The next round of Work-Life Balance in Academia starts in March 2019.  Learn more about the programme here

Strategy 1 Stress SOS

Listen to the exercise here. You can also download it to your computer or phone.

Mindfulness oefeningen

Korte mindfulness oefeningen (for English see below)

Hieronder vind je een aantal korte mindfulness oefeningen. Probeer ze uit door gewoon je koptelefoon in te pluggen en op play te klikken. Laat je me weten wat je ervaringen zijn?

3 minuten mindful (NL)

 

5 minuten mindful (NL)

 

 

 

Short mindfulness exercises. 

Below you will find a few short mindfulness exercises. Just plug in your headphones and hit play. Will you let me know what your experiences with these exercises are?

3 minutes mindful (EN)

 

 

5 minutes mindful (EN)